Water Musings

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Water flows and adapts to the banks of the river. It never complains that the shore is too small or not the right shape. It just continues to flow and move, adapting, changing and accepting.

Waves are powerless to stop crashing on the shore. It is the endless dance of creation and destruction, moved by the moon and sustained by the sun. The waves hold nothing back as they meet their destiny; the shore does not cringe or falter as the rush of nature’s power pounds, grinds and takes away.

Water adapts to the shape of the container. The same amount of water can look like more when the glass is tall and narrow, or less when the bowl is wide and open. Effortlessly changing shape and form, it is the same water, composed of the same number of drops and molecules. The shape of those drops and molecules changes as the container changes.

Are you more like the container, rigid and inflexible, insisting that life conform to your exacting standards? Or do you live your life as the water, expanding and contracting as the situation demands, but never spilling a drop of yourself? Effortlessly accepting change and scope but always aware of your core values?

If you are more like the container, it might be time to accept the past, release those persons or things involved and offer the entire situation to God or the Holy Spirit for healing. Your goal is to become fluid and flexible. Not exacting in your expectations of the result but focused on the feeling of your desires.

By releasing your desire to control the outcome, you open a space for God to step into the situation. The water knows it is flowing towards a bigger ocean, just as you will evolve into a bigger version of yourself if you let go of the limitations in your thinking. We are only as big as our thoughts…if you allow God to expand your thoughts into something for his purpose, how much larger will you become?

God is limitless abundance. You have only to surrender to him and let him take care of the “how” while you define the “what”. Your purpose while in form is to be an open portal for His love and grace. He will support your efforts a thousand times because that is what he made you for – to be His creative hand on earth.

You are an instrument of God… A tool of creation. But you are not an inanimate object with no influence or direction. Instead, God created you to create, but he gave you the greatest gift of all – the ability to choose. He will never violate your free will, but He will welcome you back with open arms when you choose to return home.

Just like the prodigal son.

So as you journey in your life, making choices, remember to be fluid like water, flowing over, under and around the stones and limbs that block your path towards a bigger you.

You Are My Mirror

        Have you ever noticed that what triggers annoyance in you about other people is really something that you need to work on yourself?  It is almost as if we project our worst selves onto other people, so that we do not have to resolve it IN ourselves.

For example, if you are a super organized person and you happen to live with someone who rarely makes the bed, you are going to have conflicts.  Without a doubt, it is a sure bet.  So what do you do about it?

The first thing is to recognize that your belief that organization is critical to a happy and contented life…is truly your belief – it belongs to you.  If the other person does not hold that belief, then conflict is insured when you try to impose your belief on them.  The reality is that you are living with a person who has a different belief about orderliness than you.  There is no good or bad in that difference.  There is only the difference.  Trying to convert them to your way of thinking is a recipe for disaster (as I am sure you have already discovered).

So what to do?

This is a great time to do your own work, on yourself.  Why do you believe that organization is as essential as breathing? What agreements did you make in the past that you now equate with this belief?  Keep asking yourself these questions without criticism or judgment.  It is almost as if you are an archeologist on an exciting dig to discover the long lost key to your present behavior.  Maintain a sense of objectivity about the exploration, and I guarantee you will eventually discover the root cause of your belief.  At the end of the day, it is always the same answer.

FEAR.

When you think over your childhood, did you use organization as a way to control your world? Was security somehow tied into how you made your bed or how clean your room was? Did you only receive approval from your parents if you were neat, orderly and well-mannered?

If this simple example rings true for you, please check out the following website:  http://www.The Work.com.  The central

Byron Katie

question asked in the process described by Byron Katie is this:  “Who would you be without your story?”  She has created four questions that lead you into self-exploration of your beliefs, and leads you out of the need to cling to your story.  Peace and freedom are the end result.

No one can discover these sponsoring beliefs except for you.  Only you lived through your life.  Only you made the choice to believe that one is better than another.  And only you can decide that if your past choice no longer holds true for you today, that it is time to choose again.

Release the beliefs that hold you back, and you will see what you really are – an innocent kitten who is blameless and who just wants to grow up to her full potential.

Thank you for being my mirror.  Without you, I would not see what I need to see in myself.

Forgiveness is Easier than You Think

When you think of forgiveness, is it usually with a slightly superior attitude?  You may decide to forgive because it is the “right” thing to do, or because that is what your religion teaches.  External forces compel you to take action, instead of an inner compulsion or desire.

So what is true forgiveness?

It is so simple that most people miss it, or don’t believe it. It has become over-complicated, over-analyzed and over-done.  Forgiveness has morphed into a concept of manipulation and purpose, instead of it’s true reason d’etre.

So what is true forgiveness?

Forgiveness is the simple act of release. You release the other person from your story and as a result, you release yourself from the effects of that story.

Let me give you an example.  When I was just a kid, I used to ride my bicycle around in circles on the driveway.  Usually I would sing and dream while the world swirled around me.  One day, my older brother decided to stand in front of my path and when I stopped, he took my bike away from me.  Crying and screaming did nothing to change the immediate situation (until our Mom got involved).

Even though that incident took place many  moons ago, I carried that strong feeling of unjustice, anger and resentment with me for years.  It affected my adult relationship with my brother, as well as forming the basis of a material possessiveness of which I am not proud.  I finally realized that by carrying my anger and resentment with me for years, I would project it onto someone or something else in an effort to get rid of it.  My projection had the opposite effect – it bound me even tighter with my anger and resentment.  Subconsciously, I tried the same thing over and over, and I kept getting the same results.

The only way out for me was to break the cycle of anger/resentment/projection/anger/resentment.  Since I was the cause of the cycle (because I held onto my anger), I was the only one who could break it.  My brother did not hold the key – it was my decision to give my energy to those strong emotions.  And every time an incident popped up that was similar to the original one…I let loose with all of the pent-up anger that I did not realize I had!

How did I get out of this vicious pattern that caused me distress and disturbed my peace?  Were costly therapy lessons involved, sitting in a chair and reviewing every detail of the original incident? No, it was much simpler than that.I decided to just let it go.                                        

Forgiveness is really about releasing yourself from your imagined burdens, injustices or wrongs.  It has nothing to do with the other person or what they may have done to you.  It has everything to do with yourself – and finding peace.

As Gerald Jampolsky noted, “Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.”

Look over your life and see the areas where forgiveness will release you from the grip of the past.  Sit quietly and imagine what you would feel like without your “story” about that incident, then choose to release it.  Breathe the peace into your heart and mind and feel it settle over you like a soft blanket.  Relish in this feeling and carry it with you after you open your eyes.

Forgiveness is as simple as what I just described.  If you do not believe me, then prove it does not work.  But to do that, you have to try it!

Forgiveness is the Door to Happiness

Forgiveness is the door to happiness.

That statement is contrary to popular belief and cultural norms.  We are so focused on who is right that we have forgotten our greater purpose…to forgive so we can be happy.

The opposite of forgiveness is judgement.  And in every moment we take a breath, we have a choice between the two.  They cannot co-exist in the same space and time.  They are mutually exclusive…and available to all of us in every single heart beat.

As Rickey Minor noted in his book, There is No Traffic on the Extra Mile,

“What does not have truth or integrity to it has nothing to feed on but itself.”

Judgement feeds on itself.  It fosters and encourages anger, resentment, pain and intolerance.  It separates us by pointing out differences.  Judgement is a path we choose and one that eventually leads downward to destruction.  It feeds on itself.

Forgiveness creates more.  It does not tear down but builds up.  Forgiveness based on acceptance and love encourages more acceptance and love.  It is the other path we choose and one that will lead upward to happiness and a much closer relationship with God.

Ask yourself today, when faced with a situation that upsets you, whether you would rather be right, or happy.  If being right is important to you, then judge away.  But if you consider the other times in the past when you have made the same choice, did it ever bring happiness?  If the answer is no, then you might want to consider the other choice – forgiveness.

Chose to be a creator, not a destroyer.  Chose love and forgiveness instead of judgement and fear.

And when you make the choice to forgive, start with the one person who needs its the most.

Yourself.