You are a Miracle Worker (You Just Don’t Remember!)

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.”     Albert Einstein

Miracles are mysterious, unexplainable and inspiring because of their shroud of supernatural power. A miracle is defined by Wikipedia as “an event of divine intervention.”  When I speak of “miracles,” I am not referring to Divine intervention or an interruption in the laws of nature.  No, I will leave those discussions to the theologians and philosophers. My mission is to help everyday people, living their everyday lives, learn how to use miracles to see themselves more clearly.

To me, a “miracle” is also a shift or change in perception.  It is because of that shift that unseen limits are removed, self-imposed bars are lifted and you are finally free to live your life the way you choose.  Instead of your life being governed by someone else’s standards, it is bracketed by your own.  The miracle happens when you remember who you are and what is important to you, and your decisions are based on those guideposts.

Every person alive on the planet has the ability to shift their perceptions and change the meaning that they have placed on events. The ability to shift perception to love and healing and away from limitation and anger is inate in all of us, waiting to be activated.  My mission is to help you activate your abilities to view yourself and your life in new ways that grow and expand your perceptions of your self and your world.

To learn more, please  visit www.areyouamessenger.com website, and search for me as Messenger 110.  You will be taken to my webpage, where you fill find the video I created that explains more about why you are a miracle worker.  It is part of the “Are You a Messenger” project, which will ultimately end with 10 Messengers being filmed as part of a movie of the same name.

If you are inspired by my video, please vote for me or leave a comment.  Sharing the video message with your social network is also a great way to support the project and spread the message of empowerment and love.  It will also help remind others that they can change their lives by changing their thoughts about it.

What a miracle that would be!

 

Step Out of Your Story and Into Your Life

As a child, I loved to hear and read stories. Mythical creatures with magical powers, Kings and Queens and their children (of course I was the Princess!) and the Knights of the Round Table.  How I loved to read about King Arthur and his Camelot.  But for some reason, I always identified with the person who was betrayed, the victim of the story, never the victor.

As an adult, I fell away from fairy tales and into “reality.” School, work, marriage, family and aging parents took all of my attention and energy.  Little did I realize that I still lived in stories, except now they were my very own creation, instead of tales from ages past.

My “stories” were the judgments I passed on the events of my life. Based on past experience and beliefs that had not seen the light of day in quite some time, the decisions I made about the meaning of difficult situations determined my future.  Hurt, anger or resentment soured many a moment.

Little did I realize how much my thoughts about what someone said or did colored my world and my reaction. I played the role of victim well, always ready to leap to a martyr’s death at a moment’s notice. Swooning was also part of my repertoire (just kidding). Dramatic scenes of anger, rage and resentment played consistently on my stage.  And behind the curtain, I always felt that someone else was pulling my strings, the puppeteer always just out of sight.

It was not until I stumbled upon the concept that things happen for you, not to you, that my world began to shift on its axis. When I discovered that I had the power to change my thoughts, which directly impacted my world, I felt like I had been given the keys to a wonderful kingdom.  Out with the dragons! Gone are the lions and tigers and bears! Destroy the goblins of fear, the worry warts and the sad sack of chips on my shoulder that forever stood in the way of my relationships.  I was free!

Until the moment they returned again. And again.

How disheartening to think that a magic wand can make it all go away…and it all came back, stronger than before.  What was wrong with me?  That question plagued me for some time, until I discovered that I had asked the wrong question, which was guaranteed to lead always to the wrong answer (or the right answer to the wrong question, if that makes any sense).

The right question (no judgment intended) is to ask, “What am I supposed to learn from this?” Or put another way, “Who Am I in Relation to That?”  Either question is guaranteed to direct your attention away from the problem and back to you, defining your place in relation to the event or circumstance.

In a very real sense, you step out of your story for a brief moment and decide who you want to be (given those circumstances before you). Then, you step back into your story with that decision firmly in your mind.  While you cannot control the final outcome, you gain a much richer understanding of yourself as you move through that particular set of circumstances.

You will discover, as I did, that in the end, you retain your power to define who you are.  The “puppet on a string” syndrome is gone forever. The victim mentality no longer works for you, because you realize you are never a victim unless you allow it.  In fact, you discover that you are the choreographer, producer and star of your own “Dancing with the Stars.”

And you have a new partner in your dance with life.  The Divine.

Forgiveness Lessons

Forgiveness Lessons.

Your Life Story is a Legacy

Image via Wikipedia

No matter how old you are, you have a legacy.  A legacy is the culmination of the lives you have helped create, the people you have taught by your own example and the lessons you have learned and passed on.

But those represent your external legacy – the things or people who are visible.  What about your internal legacy?

A legacy can also be the collection of hurts, injustices and memories you carry with you from the past, that still pollute your present.  I call it your “Story.”

We all have our stories…the way we package our painful memories, perceived losses and sorrow.  The events that happen to us are objective – a job goes away, a spouse leaves, a parent or loved one dies.  But it is how we interpret these objective events…the spin we put on them as they relate to us…that defines us.  And what defines us is how we relate to and create our world.

It is just like a nesting doll – what is on the outside is not necessarily the same as what is on the inside.  When you carry stories about the past and apply them to the present, you are adding layers to yourself and your perspective.

Think of it as having a conversation with yourself.  Whatever you tell yourself about another person, place or thing is true…for you.  That is why two people can watch the same event, the same people, and see totally different things.  For example, you and I could sit through the same movie, and have totally different reactions.  You could laugh at the places that made me cry and I could cringe at the parts that made you laugh.  In the end, it doesn’t matter that we had different reactions to the same scenes or lines, because it is impossible for me to experience the exact same thing as you. 

Once you accept that everyone has their own perspective and viewpoint, which is equally as valid as yours, you will have no problem with forgiveness.  Why?  Because you are not judging the other person to be wrong!  Another way to say it -  you allow the other person to have THEIR conversation about what you both just experienced.

For example -When you see a family member and you instantly think of a past incident or a negative thought (“He is such a bum – he will never make anything of himself”) you are carrying emotional baggage about that person.  What he did or didn’t do in the past is his business and his choice, not yours.    

What happens when you see that person again? Do you immediately think or say something related to the past?  When that happens, are you living in the present moment or are you reliving the past, as you remember it and judged it?  Your judgment about his choices keeps you tied to the past – he has probably moved on!

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”  Lewis Smede

Your judgments and thoughts about the past color your perception of the present moment.  Think about how you would react to that same person if you did not instantly remember the past when you saw him.  If your reaction is different, then you know you know the past is coloring your present perception.

You can hold onto your past or you can learn from it.

A scene from the Lion King brought that home to me.  Simba has been in exile for many years and is finally discovered by Naila, his childhood friend and Rafiki, the witch doctor.  When Simba refuses to return home because he thought he had killed his father, Rafiki hits him on the head with his cane.  When Simba complains, Rafiki points out that being hit on the head was in the past, but you still feel the pain. You either continue to relive that moment, or you learn from it and move on.  Fortunately, Simba got the message and moved on with his life, reclaimed his path and his destiny.

What about you?  Have you ever thought about changing your Story so your legacy is clear, sharp and well-defined?

“Forgive or relive”  anonymous

But how do you forgive?  There are many books and people teaching how to forgive, but why not go to the source – look at how Jesus taught forgivenss and follow his example.

When I was writing Walk With the Master, I imagined Jesus as he would have looked, walking the dusty streets of Nazareth.  At the time of the story, he was about 20 years old – an adult in that culture – who had a presence and surety about him that was instantly recognizable.  But more than his physical presence was his spiritual persona.  When I tried to describe the impact he had on people, I realized that Jesus was the one person who ever walked the earth – who did not have any emotional baggage.  He instantly forgave and never judged, and because he was God, God was always there to guide him.

That is all we have to do…allow God into the relationship or situation and ask that he guide our thoughts, words and actions.

Walk With the Master shows this process through the events in the story.  The Faithful Companion Guide brings out the forgiveness lesson more clearly, and even sets out the steps to take.  It is for anyone who wants to live a life free of their past stories.

As you think about your legacy and look over your life, why not release those stories who are covering up the real you —   it is never too late to uncover who you really are!

 

Water Musings

Image via Wikipedia

Water flows and adapts to the banks of the river. It never complains that the shore is too small or not the right shape. It just continues to flow and move, adapting, changing and accepting.

Waves are powerless to stop crashing on the shore. It is the endless dance of creation and destruction, moved by the moon and sustained by the sun. The waves hold nothing back as they meet their destiny; the shore does not cringe or falter as the rush of nature’s power pounds, grinds and takes away.

Water adapts to the shape of the container. The same amount of water can look like more when the glass is tall and narrow, or less when the bowl is wide and open. Effortlessly changing shape and form, it is the same water, composed of the same number of drops and molecules. The shape of those drops and molecules changes as the container changes.

Are you more like the container, rigid and inflexible, insisting that life conform to your exacting standards? Or do you live your life as the water, expanding and contracting as the situation demands, but never spilling a drop of yourself? Effortlessly accepting change and scope but always aware of your core values?

If you are more like the container, it might be time to accept the past, release those persons or things involved and offer the entire situation to God or the Holy Spirit for healing. Your goal is to become fluid and flexible. Not exacting in your expectations of the result but focused on the feeling of your desires.

By releasing your desire to control the outcome, you open a space for God to step into the situation. The water knows it is flowing towards a bigger ocean, just as you will evolve into a bigger version of yourself if you let go of the limitations in your thinking. We are only as big as our thoughts…if you allow God to expand your thoughts into something for his purpose, how much larger will you become?

God is limitless abundance. You have only to surrender to him and let him take care of the “how” while you define the “what”. Your purpose while in form is to be an open portal for His love and grace. He will support your efforts a thousand times because that is what he made you for – to be His creative hand on earth.

You are an instrument of God… A tool of creation. But you are not an inanimate object with no influence or direction. Instead, God created you to create, but he gave you the greatest gift of all – the ability to choose. He will never violate your free will, but He will welcome you back with open arms when you choose to return home.

Just like the prodigal son.

So as you journey in your life, making choices, remember to be fluid like water, flowing over, under and around the stones and limbs that block your path towards a bigger you.

Life’s Cup of Coffee

As I step deeply into my fifties, I connect with spiritual concepts on a deeper level.  The world of form takes a back seat to the idea that shimmers just beyond my physical awareness.  When I finally see it, the overlay of that concept draped on my life brings everything into perspective.

For example, I was drinking coffee early one morning, and the thought occurred to me that the air surrounding the cup was shaped by the cup’s form.  I started concentrating on the air and space instead of the cup and that is when it hit me.

We are just like the cup!

Before you dismiss me as a crazy loon, let me explain.  Every human who has ever walked the earth came here as a body, mind and spirit.  Although the form of the body changes, the spirit for everyone is the same – a piece of God, if you will.  But we can’t see spirit…we can’t touch it or taste it…so we tend to dismiss its existence because it does not seem to be verified by our physical senses.

When I had my “aha” moment over my cup of coffee, the analogy was that the Spirit of God is just like air.  We can’t see it…we can’t touch it or taste it…well, you get my point.  So please indulge me for a moment as I continue this analogy.

We are just like the cup – living in a certain shape and form, but surrounded by the Spirit of God.  As we move through life, we tend to collect hurt, anger, pain, resentment from our experiences.  These emotions from the past become debris in our cup, and they take up space where the air once circulated freely.  Live long enough or tragically enough, and your cup of life will be filled with the jetsam of your past, with no space for your essence.

And no connection to the larger air that always surrounds you.

Does that make sense?  Why carry your past with you when it buries your spirit from connecting to God – the larger Spirit?  Learn to release and forgive everything that blocks your essential, spiritual connection with God.  Free yourself from the debris that you can never change and learn to dance.

Your cup will be full and your life will be filled with the essence of what you are — a part of God.

Forgiveness is Easier than You Think

When you think of forgiveness, is it usually with a slightly superior attitude?  You may decide to forgive because it is the “right” thing to do, or because that is what your religion teaches.  External forces compel you to take action, instead of an inner compulsion or desire.

So what is true forgiveness?

It is so simple that most people miss it, or don’t believe it. It has become over-complicated, over-analyzed and over-done.  Forgiveness has morphed into a concept of manipulation and purpose, instead of it’s true reason d’etre.

So what is true forgiveness?

Forgiveness is the simple act of release. You release the other person from your story and as a result, you release yourself from the effects of that story.

Let me give you an example.  When I was just a kid, I used to ride my bicycle around in circles on the driveway.  Usually I would sing and dream while the world swirled around me.  One day, my older brother decided to stand in front of my path and when I stopped, he took my bike away from me.  Crying and screaming did nothing to change the immediate situation (until our Mom got involved).

Even though that incident took place many  moons ago, I carried that strong feeling of unjustice, anger and resentment with me for years.  It affected my adult relationship with my brother, as well as forming the basis of a material possessiveness of which I am not proud.  I finally realized that by carrying my anger and resentment with me for years, I would project it onto someone or something else in an effort to get rid of it.  My projection had the opposite effect – it bound me even tighter with my anger and resentment.  Subconsciously, I tried the same thing over and over, and I kept getting the same results.

The only way out for me was to break the cycle of anger/resentment/projection/anger/resentment.  Since I was the cause of the cycle (because I held onto my anger), I was the only one who could break it.  My brother did not hold the key – it was my decision to give my energy to those strong emotions.  And every time an incident popped up that was similar to the original one…I let loose with all of the pent-up anger that I did not realize I had!

How did I get out of this vicious pattern that caused me distress and disturbed my peace?  Were costly therapy lessons involved, sitting in a chair and reviewing every detail of the original incident? No, it was much simpler than that.I decided to just let it go.                                        

Forgiveness is really about releasing yourself from your imagined burdens, injustices or wrongs.  It has nothing to do with the other person or what they may have done to you.  It has everything to do with yourself – and finding peace.

As Gerald Jampolsky noted, “Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.”

Look over your life and see the areas where forgiveness will release you from the grip of the past.  Sit quietly and imagine what you would feel like without your “story” about that incident, then choose to release it.  Breathe the peace into your heart and mind and feel it settle over you like a soft blanket.  Relish in this feeling and carry it with you after you open your eyes.

Forgiveness is as simple as what I just described.  If you do not believe me, then prove it does not work.  But to do that, you have to try it!

Create Your Life By Design

How often do you think about the design of your life?  The structure and form that defines your life is greatly influenced by choices you have made – in the past, in the present, and in the future.  Are you satisfied with your life as it stands?

If the answer is an emphatic “NO!” then you have some work to do.  The first step is to realize that it is Your work, and no one else’s.  It is your hand holding the paint brush and your hand that chooses the colors, texture, lines and form that are painted on the canvas of your life.

Are you with me so far?  You are responsible for you.  Your choices, your mistakes, your grievances, your story.  Stop blaming others for your decisions and start living your life.

There are a myriad of methods to stop the victim mindset.  Check out the 13 steps described in Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping (www.RadicalForgiveness.com).  Another great book about integrating and healing your past is by Debbie Ford, called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers(www.DebbieFord.com).  Both websites offer online coursesthat you take at your own pace and fit into your schedule.

Image via Wikipedia

The tools are out there.  The real question is…do you want to give up your victim mindset and expand into unexplored territory?  Or would you rather stay stuck in an unhappy life so you can complain about it?

Your answer will determine your path and your spiritual development.  Victimhood and spiritual growth cannot occur in the same space, because they are the antithesis of each other.  It truly is your choice.

As Tom Carpenter so eloquently said:

When forgiveness ends the need to judge and conflict and condemnation both have gone away, there is a stillness that fills my mind. This I know is the Peace of God. When I am here, all the world is here with me and I recognize this is the goal we all have sought, no matter how it may have looked. It is the single purpose for our learning, the very function of our lives. For it is here—filled by this stillness—I, we finally feel at home. 

You are the painter of your life – choose wisely!

Forgiveness is the Door to Happiness

Forgiveness is the door to happiness.

That statement is contrary to popular belief and cultural norms.  We are so focused on who is right that we have forgotten our greater purpose…to forgive so we can be happy.

The opposite of forgiveness is judgement.  And in every moment we take a breath, we have a choice between the two.  They cannot co-exist in the same space and time.  They are mutually exclusive…and available to all of us in every single heart beat.

As Rickey Minor noted in his book, There is No Traffic on the Extra Mile,

“What does not have truth or integrity to it has nothing to feed on but itself.”

Judgement feeds on itself.  It fosters and encourages anger, resentment, pain and intolerance.  It separates us by pointing out differences.  Judgement is a path we choose and one that eventually leads downward to destruction.  It feeds on itself.

Forgiveness creates more.  It does not tear down but builds up.  Forgiveness based on acceptance and love encourages more acceptance and love.  It is the other path we choose and one that will lead upward to happiness and a much closer relationship with God.

Ask yourself today, when faced with a situation that upsets you, whether you would rather be right, or happy.  If being right is important to you, then judge away.  But if you consider the other times in the past when you have made the same choice, did it ever bring happiness?  If the answer is no, then you might want to consider the other choice – forgiveness.

Chose to be a creator, not a destroyer.  Chose love and forgiveness instead of judgement and fear.

And when you make the choice to forgive, start with the one person who needs its the most.

Yourself.

Change Your Story – Change Your Life

We all have our stories…the way we package our painful memories, perceived losses and sorrow.  The events that happen to us are objective – a job goes away, a spouse leaves, a parent or loved one dies.  But it is how we interpret these objective events…the spin we put on them as they relate to us…that defines us.  And what defines us is how we relate to and create our world.

Think of it as having a conversation with yourself.  Whatever you tell yourself about another person, place or thing is true…for you.  That is why two people can watch the same event, the same people, and see totally different things.  For example, you and I could sit through the same movie, and have totally different reactions.  You could laugh at the places that made me cry and I could cringe at the parts that made you laugh.  In the end, it doesn’t matter that we had different reactions to the same scenes or lines, because it is impossible for me to experience the exact same thing as you.

Once you accept that everyone has their own perspective and viewpoint, which is equally as valid as yours, you will have no problem with forgiveness.  Why?  Because you are not judging the other person to be wrong!  Another way to say it -  you allow the other person to have THEIR conversation about what you both just experienced.

It is crucial to recognize two essential concepts about conversations:

1. Everyone has a conversation – with each other, about each other, and especially with themselves.  That conversation defines that person, guides their reaction to events or situations, and determines the action they will take in response;  and
2. One kind of conversation is no better than another – we cannot know what is going on in another person’s world.  We have no idea what their past is, how they chose to react to it and what emotional triggers are still vibrant.   So we are in no place to judge someone else’s conversation, or words, or actions.

So what is forgiveness?  Releasing your judgment against the other person, and turning them over to God.

God is the only one who knows another person’s past, their hurts and disappointments, their sorrow and their joy.  It is so simple – God knows…everything.  We don’t.

The great thing about recognizing these two concepts is that truly – your conversation about your life is truly your own.  You created it, you chose it…and if it doesn’t make you happy, only you can change it.

There is great freedom in that realization.  No one but you decided to feel bad about an event in your past.  No one but you chose to relive each painful moment of a breakup or disappointment.  No one but you looks for ways to validate your commitment to your story – your inner conversation.  And here’s the kicker – no one but you can change your story!

When you recognize your story and decide to change it, you are on your way to uncovering your true beauty.  As the Persian poet Rumi said, “By God, when you see your beauty, you will be the idol of yourself.”  It is in that new way of seeing that your freedom lies.  And the way to get there is through the doorway of forgiveness.

So the first step is to recognize that you do have a conversation about yourself and where you fit into the greater world.  As part of this recognition process, it is essential that you take time to step out of the emotions and angst your story creates for you.  Journaling a few pages every day around the event or situation is a great way to shift through your emotions and hone in on the central issues.  Another technique is to start noticing when you feel an immediate reaction to a situation or person.  Try to be objective and see if you can identify what it is in you that is being triggered.

Once you have identified your personal triggers (for example, I hate being left out) then the next step is to begin to notice when these triggers are activated.  For me, growing up, anytime I found out that other people were invited to lunch or a party, and I wasn’t, I felt an immediate and intense pain of rejection.  It didn’t matter if I was not invited because of a very good reason (that group was not appropriate or I wasn’t old enough) I would immediately assume that I was left out because something was wrong with me.  Because my conversation about myself interpreted the event of not getting invited as rejection, I caused myself immediate pain.  Key words – “I caused myself”

When you realize that how you react is habitual, you can unravel the emotional triggers and reset them.  You can change the way you interpret the event or person so you feel joy instead of pain.

You just drop your story.

But what if you don’t want to drop your story?  Why would you chose pain and anger over happiness and joy? The simple answer is that you enjoy the angst or pain or anger or resentment.  You must enjoy it on some level, or else you would not choose it.

It doesn’t matter what it is that fuels your emotions…it only matters that you habitually create situations that trigger those emotions.  You are the only one who made the choice to relive your past.  If you seem to have the same type of things happen to you, it might be time to change your story.

You can hold onto your past or you can learn from it.  A scene from the Lion King brought that home to me.  Simba has been in exile for many years and is finally discovered by Naila, his childhood friend and Rafiki, the witch doctor.  When Simba refuses to return home because he thought he had killed his father, Rafiki hits him on the head with his cane.  When Simba complains, Rafiki points out that being hit on the head was in the past, but you still feel the pain. You either continue to relive that moment, or you learn from it and move on.  Fortunately, Simba got the message and moved on with his life.

“Forgive or relive”  anonymous

Once you determine your emotional triggers and you make the decision to change your story, what is next?  It is time to forgive yourself and choose love over judgment.  When you can look at your past and be thankful, you will have forgiven yourself.

Forgiveness gives you a different perspective.  The facts have not changed…but when you forgive and release, you let God into the situation.  You can’t change the situation or other person, but you can change the way you look at it.  And with that change in perspective, you not only release the other person – you release yourself.  Think of the line drawing of an optical illusion – depending on how you look at the drawing, you see either an old man or a young woman.  Both are hidden in the picture, but when your eyes focus in a different way, you see a different shape.

Forgiveness is really releasing the other person from your anger and turning them over to God.  When you forgive, you don’t need their acknowledgment that you have forgiven them, nor do you need their apology.  Instead, the forgiveness is truly for your own healing and peace.  As Sara Paddison said, “Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”

There is an ancient saying, “All things must grow, or they die.”  We are here to grow, learn and evolve.  That is why we are called human “beings” – we are constantly in the process of “being” or “becoming.”  If we were meant to just reach a certain stage of development and then stop, we would have been called human “beens.”  As Debbie Ford put it, “Our highest purpose is to learn and grow from our experiences and then move on.”

But what if you have suffered from some horrible tragedy or you were born with severe disabilities?  What if everyone you have ever loved always leaves you and you are a lost soul?  What then?

It is all part of the experience that we call “being” human.  As Wayne Muller said, “Sorrow is the dark side of grace…what breaks us down also breaks us open.”

The worst events in our lives usually hold the greatest gifts.  Look at Nelson Mandela – imprisoned for 27 years only to forgive and to become the first African President of his country.  He chose love over judgment and found his own freedom.  As Mandela so eloquently stated, “[t]o be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

Forgiveness is truly the healing touch of God.  God is love.  Underneath the pain, the guilt and the loneliness, we are still God’s children, loved by him.  We are still created in his likeness and image and we are still worthy.  But that central truth is covered up when we do not let go of the past and learn from it.  Forgiveness is truly God’s love.

We must first heal ourselves and then allow God’s love to flow through us to others.  Once you discover the healing power of true forgiveness, you can free yourself from your past and actually live in the present moment.

To summarize:

1. Everyone has a conversation about themselves and where they fit into the world.
2. We cannot judge another person’s conversation because we don’t know everything.
3. If you find the same or similar events happen over and over in your life, you may not be learning the lesson embedded in the event.  If you keep repeating the same story each time you lose your job or a relationship, you have not learned from it.  To change your story, follow these steps:
   1. Recognize that you have a story and that only you can change it.
   2. Learn to identify the emotional triggers, then change your perspective.
   3. Chose love over judgment.  Allow forgiveness of yourself and others.  Drop the negative and replace with positive, uplifting messages.  Release yourself and the other person and ask God to step into the situation.
   4. Open your heart and learn to dance with the Divine.

Books I highly recommend:

“The Dark Side of Light Chasers” by Debbie Ford

“Radical Forgiveness” by Colin C. Tipping

 

Both books have great exercises that help you to release the emotional baggage you may be carrying and let go.  Also check out both of my books available on Amazon.  Each one has several forgiveness lessons embedded in the story, and techniques to release and let go.