Please Take a Moment and Read This

Sometimes I come across something so profound, so elegantly simple, that I have to share it with my fellow bloggers.

Hannah Brencher’s latest blog post falls into that category. Please take a minute to read:

http://hannahbrencher.com/2013/04/30/we-cannot-stay-here-any-longer/

Then pass it on to as many people as you can. Her message should be heard around the world.

I am slightly chagrined that I did not have the courage to say what she conveyed in her post. And I ask people to ask people to “Dance with the Divine”! So here is my attempt to expound on Hannah’s message of love.

Isn’t it time to move past the old hurts, the imagined grievances and the stories that we have created about events that shaped us? Why not step into that space of knowing, simply knowing that you are a Child of God? No questions, no intellectual arguments or religious references.

Just accept that you are here, at this time and place, to BE a Child of God.

Please don’t complicate this…instead, step into your greatness and allow God to lead you in the dance of life. The music is playing, the dance floor is ready. All you have to do is accept and allow.

 

Are You Ready to Dance?

“Life happens through you, not to you.”  Anonymous

Have you ever danced with someone who was in total control, who knew exactly when to turn and step to create a flowing movement of beauty and grace? When you allow the other person to lead, you accept their guidance and give up control. And together, you create a joyous sequence of steps that inspires, uplifts and possibly transcends gravity.

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

That same wondrous creation process is accessible when you accept guidance from the Divine. Think of it as a dance of creation, with God leading, nudging and guiding you to become a grander, larger version of yourself. His hand is always extended, palm up, in an open invitation to dance with him.

All you have to do is accept.

I accepted my invitation to dance while sitting in Torts class with 60 other first year law students. I was in the middle of the amphitheater classroom, sunk down in my seat, trying my best to be invisible. (Imagine a four-year-old with a blanket over her head, convinced that no one can see her, and you will be close to how I looked that day. Only I did not have a blanket).  But no matter how small I made myself, it was a futile exercise, since we sat higher than the Professor.

I wondered for the 1,000^th time why in the world I decided to go to law school. I was the “quiet one,” the twin who constantly read books and stayed in the background of everything. I was painfully shy, constantly withdrawn and thought my own shadow held a dark, scary secret. Why did I ever think in a million years that I should be a lawyer?

Because my father is a lawyer.  My twin brother is a lawyer.  My mother had her PhD in Clinical Psychology. My older brother has his PhD in computer science. Are you starting to see a pattern develop?

There was no way that I could stay in my low paying job at the bank’s marketing department (even though I loved it) and survive in my family. Doing so meant that I was “wasting my potential.”  Law school was the logical choice, so after three years of pressure, I finally gave in and took the easy route. I applied and was accepted to law school.

Not because I wanted to. Because I felt that I had to or remain an outcast in my own family, destined to be overlooked and undervalued.

So here I was, sitting in Torts that first day, my thoughts flaying down their usual path of recrimination and bullying, until I heard the two words that I dreaded most in the world at that moment.

“Ms. Eriksen,” Professor Johnson said, a tinge of exasperation in his voice.

Sheer terror froze me in my seat, eyes glued to the massive 500 page textbook that was opened in front of me. Blood rushed to my face and I instantly knew what the term “fight or flight” meant, because all I wanted to do was flee this moment and never return.  There were 59 pairs of eyes focused on me, some with pity but most relieved that it was not their name the Professor had just called.

I slowly looked down at Professor Johnson, just to make sure that he really meant to call on me. His were the only pair of eyes that I truly cared about at that moment. What I saw in them surprised me – he actually gave me a subtle wink that said, “We have to do this…just play your role and you will be O.K.”

My terror disappeared and I suddenly felt peaceful and calm. A strange sensation came over me, almost as if I was watching myself from above. I could see every detail of that classroom and feel the emotions in the other students – relief, anticipation and anxiety dominated.  But the most amazing thing was that I could see myself, staring down at the Professor, making a decision that would change the rest of my life.  Would I continue with my story of the “forgotten twin” or would I dare to stand up and create a new story?

I dared to stand up.

I do not remember what I said that day.  All I know is that I decided to take a different path and I became an active creator of my life. I accepted God’s invitation to dance with him and that has made all the difference.

The thrilling part about my experience is that it could have happened in any setting – at my job or with family or friends. What I learned that day set me on a journey of discovery and awakening to the process of living authentically.  I certainly did not create this process – I only discovered how it worked for me.  But I have distilled the steps so you can also learn how to use it in your life.

YOUR STORY IS YOUR STORY, UNTIL IT ISN’T

A “story” is your collection of thoughts, beliefs and ultimately, your actions concerning a person, an event or set of circumstances. It is your interpretation of the events that reflects its meaning back to you. But what is easy to forget is that the original event or occurrence is neutral.

A glass falls and shatters on the floor. Food is spilled or dropped. These events are just that – events, until you place meaning on them. If you are a parent, have you ever admonished your child to “not be so clumsy” or “to take more care” when they are carrying food? If so, your story about your child’s “clumsiness” was superimposed on the neutral occurrence of food dropped on the floor.

I created a story about being the “forgotten twin” and constructed my life around that belief, even though it was not true. That belief was the lens through which I made decisions, which only perpetuated and supported the original limiting belief.  It was not until I realized that I could make a different choice that my life changed dramatically.

Are you stuck in your story like I was stuck in mine? Have you ever wondered why you experience the same things over and over, when all you want to do is be happy?

I wondered the same thing for years, and finally realized that I always reacted from the victim mindset. All I wanted was to be happy – why did I make myself miserable?

For one simple and inescapable reason – because I enjoyed it.

Remember, you choose the roles you play in your life. You decide whether you are the action hero, hapless victim or damsel in distress.  If you find yourself playing any role that makes you feel small, take a long look to see if your ego isn’t directing the show.  A hard and fast rule to remember is:

If your ego is in charge, you will always be small.

The ego is that voice in your head that always sides against you. When you hear critical words or feel guilty for no reason, I can guarantee you that your ego is behind the curtain like the Wizard of Oz, pulling the levers and pushing the buttons that make smoke to cover up its game.  The ego is a bully extraordinaire, always looking for ways to make you feel small and insignificant.  And it is terrified of only one thing.

That you will accept your Divine Invitation to dance.

When you allow the Divine to guide you, your ego is relegated to a place at the back of the stage, where it belongs.  As you develop a relationship with God through meditation, prayer and stillness, you will never be lonely, unhappy or depressed.  Instead, you will dance with joy, laugh with love and smile constantly. You are in love with life and yourself.

The choice is always yours – do you want to stay unhappy, depressed and feel worthless (all products of ego-based thinking), or do you want to change your script and accept God’s invitation?  When you do, you will lead a life of lightness, joy and love.

That moment in law school, I dropped my victim story and accepted God’s invitation to dance. I discovered that instead of things happening to me, they happened because of me. This shift in thinking was cataclysmic in my life and it set me on the messenger path that I still enjoy today.

My latest book, Dance with the Divine, A Guidance Story (available on Amazon.com) explains this entire process in the fictional setting of a modern American family. Haven Hartt is a troubled teenager who is thrust into a family crisis that threatens the very foundation of her life. She is faced with the choice of reacting as she always would, or looking deeper and choosing love, no matter what the consequences.

To learn more about my work as a messenger, please visit KathrynEriksen.com.  Join my email group and you will receive much more information about the Divine dance.

Are you ready?

Invert Your Story

Faithful followers of  my blog know that I talk about “miracles” – not in the religious sense, but as everyday occurrences.  A “miracle” is a change in perception that opens you to the truth of why we are here.  It sounds difficult but it truly is how we are meant to live.

For example, if you made a decision in the past that still affects you or that you continue to feel guilty about, are you open to change?  No, because you are stuck  in your “story.” You will perceive your life through the lens of the story you created around the event or decision.  It is as if you are still making a decision about The Decision!  No amount of persuasion, arguments or manipulation will dissuade you from the decisions you make, based on the story you created about your past.

Is that any way to live?

Stuck in your story, guilty about a decision you made that you now regret, judging yourself for the past.  When you are stuck in your story, you are closed to life’s magic – you can’t smell the flowers because you don’t even see them!  Small joys of everyday life pass you by, almost as if you have blinders on that only you can take off.  But how to step out of your story and be open to love?

Bring on the miracle!

To learn how to implement the miracle process in your life, you will have to read my book, Dance with the Divine.  It is available on Amazon as either a Kindle or paperback book.  Please respond to this blog or leave a review on the book page — it’s all good!

 

Six Seconds

I need you to do me a favor – and it will only take six seconds.

If you are new to this blog, then you may not have had time to look around. I can make it quick – I write from my heart, describing and synthesizing my world so it makes sense.  Sometimes I need an extra boost from others to not feel that I am all alone.

My world is created just like yours – by thoughts, words and actions. If I can dissect the thoughts that came before the words, I hope that I can change the starting point and end up with something different, created deliberately instead of habitually. 

Standing at the center of my life and helping create it – that is where I want to be. At the center of the miracle!

My desire to connect to others led me to start this blog and to join a project called, Are You a Messenger? (Sorry, the quotation marks on my keyboard don’t work – does anyone know how to fix that?) Anyway, as part of AYAM, I created an Impact Project called Miracle Tokens, which are small bits of wisdom and inspiration that can be shared online or in person after you download and print them.  They boost the mood of the person who receives them, and give you a lift too, because you have shared a smile or caused someone to stop and consider their life.

My hope is that people start sharing Miracle Tokens and begin a conversation using #MiracleTokens to connect to each other. Tell your story on Twitter, FaceBook or Instagram – whatever works. The important thing is to just keep the conversation going.

Here is where you can help – and it will only take six seconds. Visit my page at http://videomsgr.com/sites/110/index.html, watch the video (OK, this part will take more than 6 seconds) and then go on to the content page by providing your name and email address (don’t worry – I am the only one who will use it, and I NEVER spam). Please leave a comment – that is where you can REALLY help me, because that is what the project manager is looking for – if I was able to attract people to my page.

Then download your very own Miracle Token, start sharing on and offline.  And please come back here and let me know your thoughts.

As Joseph Campbell noted, “Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” (Look – I found my quotation marks!) Please be my door — right now I feel like I am up against a wall that I cannot seem to penetrate.

Blessings!

 

I Learned Something New Today

 

Hamlet with Yorick’s skull (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

“Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.

 

 – Joseph Campbell

 

Do you ever find yourself stuck in your illusions – the stories that you create around events, people or issues that live in your head but not necessarily in reality?

 

I found myself in that place just this afternoon, but instead of reacting the way I normally would, I sought guidance first.  From the inside.  And it worked!  Thrilling me enough to race to the computer to blog and share, in the hopes that you might be inspired to step out of your stories too.

 

I was upset about a family situation and a potential conflict with my brother. I dreaded calling him, but felt that I had to share some pertinent information that would not make him happy.  We had been down this road before, and I anticipated the ugly scene in my head, down to the last snippet of anger and stab of hurt feelings.

 

To shorten what could be a lengthy story, I chose to behave differently this time. I made sure that I was calm and collected before I called him, centered and peaceful in my role. I also asked God to lead me to say the words that would convey the information, but not antagonize or upset him. And finally, I prayed for peace on the family and a viable resolution to the issue.

 

After visualizing the healing I wanted to take place from this conversation and feeling its truth, I made the call.

 

There were a few rough spots, but I was very purposeful in choosing not to react with my usual defensiveness. And guess what?  It worked! We had a great conversation, came up with a reasonable plan and moved on to other topics.

 

My take -away from this brief but significant encounter include the following:

 

• Everyone is invested in their perspective and opinions; Respect that and do not attack or criticize;
• It is so much more productive to change your own perception around an issue than to try to change the other person’s perspective. If you focus your energy on the other person instead of yourself, you will only get frustrated and run into a brick wall, which is not healing for any relationship. To grasp why this is universally true, see take-away #1.
• I gave up the need to be right. Instead, my goal was to find a reasonable solution to a problem that concerned both of us. When he sensed that I was not trying to convince him of my position, he relaxed and also became willing to compromise.
• When I turned the matter over to God and let him lead the way, I did not have to worry about what to say, because it came from my heart.  And God knows my heart better than I do!

 

Try this technique yourself and then let me know how it made a difference.  Change your perspective and change your life!

 

 

Dare to Not Compare

The familiar rush of anger hit me square in the chest. He was doing it again! I turned away quickly, so my face, which was always my mirror to the world, would not give me away.”Another family dinner ruined,” I thought derisively.

My emotions finally under control, I glanced up to see my mother watching me with patient love and acceptance, almost as if she could read my thoughts.  I tried to smile but could not hide the pain that smoldered beneath the surface of my anger.  Why was this so hard?

Sometime later, after the dishes were sent back to the cabinet to rest until needed again, and the kitchen cleaned, scrubbed and tidied for tomorrow, she found me like she always did when I was upset.

“You don’t have to do this to yourself,” she said gently.  I could only stare blankly at my hands, wondering why I was so fortunate to have been born with a twin brother.  As her words sunk into my consciousness, I became sullen, certain as only a 14 year old can, that I would never know my place in the world.

We sat like that, my mother and I, until she decided that I had sulked long enough.  She turned to me, her love light shining brightly in her eyes, and said softly, squeezing my hands for emphasis, “Don’t ever compare yourself to others.”

I nodded but couldn’t stop myself from responding, “I just can’t help it sometimes! We have the same teachers and the same friends, but I can just never do as well as him.”

To her credit, my mother did not lose her calm demeanor, even though laughter was burbling up her throat.  “You should hear yourself,” she managed to say between taking deep breaths.  “You act like everything should be equal just because you were born twins!”

The accusation stung me into silence.  Is that really what I thought? I took a moment to think back over the past few months and it suddenly dawned on me that she was absolutely right.  In a weak attempt to defend myself, I said, “Isn’t that what everyone thinks?”

She shook her head, smiling warmly at me. “No dearie, that is definitely not what everyone thinks.”  She leaned over to kiss me good night, murmured her usual “sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite,” and stood up to leave.  As she reached the door, she paused and patted her pocket.  Her hand found a small slip of paper and she handed it to me, palm up.  I had no choice but to stand up and accept her offering.  “I meant to give you this earlier.”

“Thank you,” I said with a smile.  “You made me feel so much better.”

“I love you,” she said, walking back over to hug me tightly.

After she left, I took the paper and sat on the floor next to my bed. I had a lot to think about and I wanted to write about it in my journal.  I absently set aside the paper and opened my journal, but no words came to me.  I waited but a wall seemed to exist between my usually fluid flow of thoughts and my pen.  After my backside began to go numb, I sighed and moved to sit on my bed.

The note still lay on the floor where I had carelessly tossed it.  Since I was getting nowhere in my journal writing, I leaned over and grabbed it.  It was a single piece of notebook paper, folded in half, with a handwritten note on the outside.

“Open only when you are ready,” it said in my mother’s cursive.

I smiled at her message.  She knew me too well. I would readily dismiss her wisdom if I was still in a snit from dinner. It was only after I calmed down and could review the dinner scene without anger that I would have an open mind to hear her words.

I figured that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.  So I unfolded the note and read its simple message.  Words danced on the page as their impact hit me square in my heart. The paper fluttered to my lap as I accepted her words and changed the course of my life.

Don’t compare.  Comparison is the thief of joy. Enough said.

 

Why are You Here?

Why are you here, on this planet, at this particular time in history, born into your family with its unique personalities, characteristics and perhaps, dysfunctional relationships? What stories have you created to bring meaning to your experiences, your conflicts, your trials and tribulations? Are there areas in your life where you have stopped growing and evolving?

At some point, every person who has ever taken a breath on this planet has asked these or similar questions. It is the quality of your “wondering” questions that define your life. The answers you receive are there, waiting to be discovered, accepted and celebrated.

The journey of self-inquiry can begin at any time. For some, tragedy spurs them to ask the tough questions. For others, a failed marriage or a serious health scare can motivate self-awareness. But for me, it was none of those things. I was simply an unfulfilled product of the Baby Boomer Generation. When I turned 48 years old, I had reached the sign on my path that read, “Is this all there is?”

Not as dramatic as becoming a widow before the age of 30 or surviving cancer and starting a nonprofit foundation to help raise money for research. But there it is…I was basically dissatisfied with myself and unfulfilled by my chosen career.

The seeds of discontentment can reap a bountiful crop. Once I began to look for answers, it almost seemed as if they were right there in front of me. Of course, that is always true…I had only to open my mind to see them.

Remember to start from where you are and allow your curiosity to lead you forward, one step at a time. You will be amazed at what you discover about yourself, your belief and thought patterns and how they have created your life. Once you have that “Aha” moment, you will recognize that if you created your life as it is today, and then maybe you can create a different life. It is the process of creation at its best — and your life is the final product!

The Miracle Worker Mantra

A mantra is defined by Wikipedia as “a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of “creating transformation.”  Before I share the Miracle Worker Mantra, you should understand what a “Miracle Worker” is and what they do in the real world.

When I refer to “miracles,” I do not mean a religious or supernatural kind of event.  Walking on water and healing the sick will remain sacred Miracles that demonstrate Divine Intervention.  Wonderfully inspiring, faith producing Miracles are best left to those capable of creating such majestic events.

For me, a “miracle” is much more mundane and personal.  In the context of this article, it simply means a shift or change in perspective.  Nothing magical or other worldly, just an alteration in your thoughts about a past event or person that opens your heart to love.

Think of it as a gift to yourself. The gift remains inside the box, wrapped in paper of your own choosing.  When you respond with anger or  resentment, the wrapping paper is dark and dense.  When you react with acceptance and love, the paper becomes transparent and it is much easier for you to be aware of the gift, glowing eternally and waiting to be remembered.

Just what is the “gift”?  It is the one immutable truth that remains real throughout the Ages.  It is true for all people born in flesh.  It remains part of your DNA and it can never be lost, stolen or changed, no matter how much you have messed up or how much pain you have caused someone else.

Think of the gift as your Divine Nature Aligned (DNA).  You could no more change the molecular structure of your DNA than you could alter the gift. Both come from the same source and both are immutable, unalterable and real.  Accept that fact and your perspective will shift from fear to love.  The gift is simply stated and easily remembered:

You were created in love by God.

The logic is simple. If you were created in love by God, then so was everyone else.  Every person who has ever walked the planet has DNA as part of their physical body. No one can change their own DNA (Divine Nature Aligned) and they certainly cannot change another person’s DNA. Therefore, the person you are so angry with or fearful of has the same Divine Nature that you do.  They just don’t remember it.  A Miracle Worker does remember it, in every situation.

A Miracle Worker sees beyond the surface of things and remains open to the possibility that she cannot know, really know, the motivation or reasons that prompt a person to behave badly. A Miracle Worker allows the other person to misbehave, without reacting or criticizing. She understands that forgiveness in the moment is the best response and the least likely to enrage or engage the other person.

This technique may sound difficult until you begin using the Miracle Worker Mantra.  Simple to remember, easy to employ, when you train yourself to think of the mantra in any uncomfortable situation, you will begin to think like a Miracle Worker.

The mantra does not give away your power, nor does it demand recompense for a perceived wrong.  Instead, the Miracle Worker Mantra reminds you that you always have a choice about how you react to any situation.  It does not matter how awful the other person is to you; it is your choice on how you respond – with anger (which only increases the potential volatility) or with love (which expands both participants).

Without further ado, here is mantra: when you are faced with a situation that causes your heart to race, or your breathing to become short and shallow, tell yourself the following:

“I can see this differently.”

The mantra works best when it is said with love and openness. Step out of the situation for a brief moment, take a deep breath and gently remind yourself that you have a choice in how you react or behave. Assure yourself that you are loved and in loving yourself, you love the other person.  In that frame of mind, you then step back into the scene and “see this differently.”

The marvelous part of this entire process is that when you become a Miracle Worker, your life is forever changed.  Instead of frustration or anger, you feel only peace and love.  From that standpoint you react differently, which sends out ripples of change to those you encounter. They respond differently to your shifted response, and the cycle of love continues.

Come to think of it, maybe my mundane definition of miracles should include transformation after all!

 

 

 

You are a Miracle Worker (You Just Don’t Remember!)

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.”     Albert Einstein

Miracles are mysterious, unexplainable and inspiring because of their shroud of supernatural power. A miracle is defined by Wikipedia as “an event of divine intervention.”  When I speak of “miracles,” I am not referring to Divine intervention or an interruption in the laws of nature.  No, I will leave those discussions to the theologians and philosophers. My mission is to help everyday people, living their everyday lives, learn how to use miracles to see themselves more clearly.

To me, a “miracle” is also a shift or change in perception.  It is because of that shift that unseen limits are removed, self-imposed bars are lifted and you are finally free to live your life the way you choose.  Instead of your life being governed by someone else’s standards, it is bracketed by your own.  The miracle happens when you remember who you are and what is important to you, and your decisions are based on those guideposts.

Every person alive on the planet has the ability to shift their perceptions and change the meaning that they have placed on events. The ability to shift perception to love and healing and away from limitation and anger is inate in all of us, waiting to be activated.  My mission is to help you activate your abilities to view yourself and your life in new ways that grow and expand your perceptions of your self and your world.

To learn more, please  visit www.areyouamessenger.com website, and search for me as Messenger 110.  You will be taken to my webpage, where you fill find the video I created that explains more about why you are a miracle worker.  It is part of the “Are You a Messenger” project, which will ultimately end with 10 Messengers being filmed as part of a movie of the same name.

If you are inspired by my video, please vote for me or leave a comment.  Sharing the video message with your social network is also a great way to support the project and spread the message of empowerment and love.  It will also help remind others that they can change their lives by changing their thoughts about it.

What a miracle that would be!

 

Make 2013 the Year of Miracles!

As the world spins to a new year, what intention have you set for yourself? Are you going to be more prosperous? Or improve your physical health? Or make more time for loved ones?  All of these goals are fulfilling and beneficial, but may I suggest another layer to add on top of your personal intentions?

Declare that 2013 will be your year of miracles.

What is a miracle? I am not using this word in the religious sense, so please do not click out of this article if you had a negative reaction. The use of this word is more practical and can be easily implemented in the activities of your everyday life.

A miracle is simply a change in perception.  A different way of looking at things.  A new lens, if you will, that you see through before you make a judgment or decision about something or someone.  Sounds simple, right?

The process of living your life as a miracle is as simple or as complex as you make it.  You are “at cause” for everything that happens in your life.  Not “those people,” not the “boogey man,” just— you.  Once you accept that simple truth as a fact, the next realization is that you can change your life if you are not happy.  But how?

That is where the concept of miracles comes in.  You change your perception of an event so that you feel better, happier, more peaceful.  There is a step by step process to this idea of miracles, which is explained more in my book, Dance with the Divine, available at Amazon http://tinyurl.com/bbtll24.  A short description of the process follows.

If there is a certain type of situation that always makes you angry, step out of your emotions and look objectively at the trigger.  Was it a comment from your parents about money? Was it a late notice for a bill that  you forgot, or couldn’t pay?  Whatever triggered your reaction, once you bring it to light, you can decide to change the only thing that you have control of – your reaction.

It helps to remember that all facts and events are neutral, until you intrepret them and give them meaning.  Once a neutral event takes on meaning, your reactions to that meaning define your life.  Since it was you who gave the original, neutral event meaning – you defined what it meant to you – only you can change it.  And that is how miracles occur, one changed thought at a time.

Let’s raise our hands and pledge that we will change our “meanings” and be happier, healthier individuals.  The ripple effects from one changed person can spread far and wide, in unimaginable ways, to the far corners of the world.  One person’s light, shining brightly and shared freely, without fear or expectation of return, can be the source of inspiration and love for all.

Won’t you be that light? Together, let’s make 2013 the Year of Miracles!

May the dawn of a new year bring you much joy and peace.