Please Take a Moment and Read This

Sometimes I come across something so profound, so elegantly simple, that I have to share it with my fellow bloggers.

Hannah Brencher’s latest blog post falls into that category. Please take a minute to read:

http://hannahbrencher.com/2013/04/30/we-cannot-stay-here-any-longer/

Then pass it on to as many people as you can. Her message should be heard around the world.

I am slightly chagrined that I did not have the courage to say what she conveyed in her post. And I ask people to ask people to “Dance with the Divine”! So here is my attempt to expound on Hannah’s message of love.

Isn’t it time to move past the old hurts, the imagined grievances and the stories that we have created about events that shaped us? Why not step into that space of knowing, simply knowing that you are a Child of God? No questions, no intellectual arguments or religious references.

Just accept that you are here, at this time and place, to BE a Child of God.

Please don’t complicate this…instead, step into your greatness and allow God to lead you in the dance of life. The music is playing, the dance floor is ready. All you have to do is accept and allow.

 

Are You Ready to Dance?

“Life happens through you, not to you.”  Anonymous

Have you ever danced with someone who was in total control, who knew exactly when to turn and step to create a flowing movement of beauty and grace? When you allow the other person to lead, you accept their guidance and give up control. And together, you create a joyous sequence of steps that inspires, uplifts and possibly transcends gravity.

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

That same wondrous creation process is accessible when you accept guidance from the Divine. Think of it as a dance of creation, with God leading, nudging and guiding you to become a grander, larger version of yourself. His hand is always extended, palm up, in an open invitation to dance with him.

All you have to do is accept.

I accepted my invitation to dance while sitting in Torts class with 60 other first year law students. I was in the middle of the amphitheater classroom, sunk down in my seat, trying my best to be invisible. (Imagine a four-year-old with a blanket over her head, convinced that no one can see her, and you will be close to how I looked that day. Only I did not have a blanket).  But no matter how small I made myself, it was a futile exercise, since we sat higher than the Professor.

I wondered for the 1,000^th time why in the world I decided to go to law school. I was the “quiet one,” the twin who constantly read books and stayed in the background of everything. I was painfully shy, constantly withdrawn and thought my own shadow held a dark, scary secret. Why did I ever think in a million years that I should be a lawyer?

Because my father is a lawyer.  My twin brother is a lawyer.  My mother had her PhD in Clinical Psychology. My older brother has his PhD in computer science. Are you starting to see a pattern develop?

There was no way that I could stay in my low paying job at the bank’s marketing department (even though I loved it) and survive in my family. Doing so meant that I was “wasting my potential.”  Law school was the logical choice, so after three years of pressure, I finally gave in and took the easy route. I applied and was accepted to law school.

Not because I wanted to. Because I felt that I had to or remain an outcast in my own family, destined to be overlooked and undervalued.

So here I was, sitting in Torts that first day, my thoughts flaying down their usual path of recrimination and bullying, until I heard the two words that I dreaded most in the world at that moment.

“Ms. Eriksen,” Professor Johnson said, a tinge of exasperation in his voice.

Sheer terror froze me in my seat, eyes glued to the massive 500 page textbook that was opened in front of me. Blood rushed to my face and I instantly knew what the term “fight or flight” meant, because all I wanted to do was flee this moment and never return.  There were 59 pairs of eyes focused on me, some with pity but most relieved that it was not their name the Professor had just called.

I slowly looked down at Professor Johnson, just to make sure that he really meant to call on me. His were the only pair of eyes that I truly cared about at that moment. What I saw in them surprised me – he actually gave me a subtle wink that said, “We have to do this…just play your role and you will be O.K.”

My terror disappeared and I suddenly felt peaceful and calm. A strange sensation came over me, almost as if I was watching myself from above. I could see every detail of that classroom and feel the emotions in the other students – relief, anticipation and anxiety dominated.  But the most amazing thing was that I could see myself, staring down at the Professor, making a decision that would change the rest of my life.  Would I continue with my story of the “forgotten twin” or would I dare to stand up and create a new story?

I dared to stand up.

I do not remember what I said that day.  All I know is that I decided to take a different path and I became an active creator of my life. I accepted God’s invitation to dance with him and that has made all the difference.

The thrilling part about my experience is that it could have happened in any setting – at my job or with family or friends. What I learned that day set me on a journey of discovery and awakening to the process of living authentically.  I certainly did not create this process – I only discovered how it worked for me.  But I have distilled the steps so you can also learn how to use it in your life.

YOUR STORY IS YOUR STORY, UNTIL IT ISN’T

A “story” is your collection of thoughts, beliefs and ultimately, your actions concerning a person, an event or set of circumstances. It is your interpretation of the events that reflects its meaning back to you. But what is easy to forget is that the original event or occurrence is neutral.

A glass falls and shatters on the floor. Food is spilled or dropped. These events are just that – events, until you place meaning on them. If you are a parent, have you ever admonished your child to “not be so clumsy” or “to take more care” when they are carrying food? If so, your story about your child’s “clumsiness” was superimposed on the neutral occurrence of food dropped on the floor.

I created a story about being the “forgotten twin” and constructed my life around that belief, even though it was not true. That belief was the lens through which I made decisions, which only perpetuated and supported the original limiting belief.  It was not until I realized that I could make a different choice that my life changed dramatically.

Are you stuck in your story like I was stuck in mine? Have you ever wondered why you experience the same things over and over, when all you want to do is be happy?

I wondered the same thing for years, and finally realized that I always reacted from the victim mindset. All I wanted was to be happy – why did I make myself miserable?

For one simple and inescapable reason – because I enjoyed it.

Remember, you choose the roles you play in your life. You decide whether you are the action hero, hapless victim or damsel in distress.  If you find yourself playing any role that makes you feel small, take a long look to see if your ego isn’t directing the show.  A hard and fast rule to remember is:

If your ego is in charge, you will always be small.

The ego is that voice in your head that always sides against you. When you hear critical words or feel guilty for no reason, I can guarantee you that your ego is behind the curtain like the Wizard of Oz, pulling the levers and pushing the buttons that make smoke to cover up its game.  The ego is a bully extraordinaire, always looking for ways to make you feel small and insignificant.  And it is terrified of only one thing.

That you will accept your Divine Invitation to dance.

When you allow the Divine to guide you, your ego is relegated to a place at the back of the stage, where it belongs.  As you develop a relationship with God through meditation, prayer and stillness, you will never be lonely, unhappy or depressed.  Instead, you will dance with joy, laugh with love and smile constantly. You are in love with life and yourself.

The choice is always yours – do you want to stay unhappy, depressed and feel worthless (all products of ego-based thinking), or do you want to change your script and accept God’s invitation?  When you do, you will lead a life of lightness, joy and love.

That moment in law school, I dropped my victim story and accepted God’s invitation to dance. I discovered that instead of things happening to me, they happened because of me. This shift in thinking was cataclysmic in my life and it set me on the messenger path that I still enjoy today.

My latest book, Dance with the Divine, A Guidance Story (available on Amazon.com) explains this entire process in the fictional setting of a modern American family. Haven Hartt is a troubled teenager who is thrust into a family crisis that threatens the very foundation of her life. She is faced with the choice of reacting as she always would, or looking deeper and choosing love, no matter what the consequences.

To learn more about my work as a messenger, please visit KathrynEriksen.com.  Join my email group and you will receive much more information about the Divine dance.

Are you ready?

Invert Your Story

Faithful followers of  my blog know that I talk about “miracles” – not in the religious sense, but as everyday occurrences.  A “miracle” is a change in perception that opens you to the truth of why we are here.  It sounds difficult but it truly is how we are meant to live.

For example, if you made a decision in the past that still affects you or that you continue to feel guilty about, are you open to change?  No, because you are stuck  in your “story.” You will perceive your life through the lens of the story you created around the event or decision.  It is as if you are still making a decision about The Decision!  No amount of persuasion, arguments or manipulation will dissuade you from the decisions you make, based on the story you created about your past.

Is that any way to live?

Stuck in your story, guilty about a decision you made that you now regret, judging yourself for the past.  When you are stuck in your story, you are closed to life’s magic – you can’t smell the flowers because you don’t even see them!  Small joys of everyday life pass you by, almost as if you have blinders on that only you can take off.  But how to step out of your story and be open to love?

Bring on the miracle!

To learn how to implement the miracle process in your life, you will have to read my book, Dance with the Divine.  It is available on Amazon as either a Kindle or paperback book.  Please respond to this blog or leave a review on the book page — it’s all good!

 

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Six Seconds

I need you to do me a favor – and it will only take six seconds.

If you are new to this blog, then you may not have had time to look around. I can make it quick – I write from my heart, describing and synthesizing my world so it makes sense.  Sometimes I need an extra boost from others to not feel that I am all alone.

My world is created just like yours – by thoughts, words and actions. If I can dissect the thoughts that came before the words, I hope that I can change the starting point and end up with something different, created deliberately instead of habitually. 

Standing at the center of my life and helping create it – that is where I want to be. At the center of the miracle!

My desire to connect to others led me to start this blog and to join a project called, Are You a Messenger? (Sorry, the quotation marks on my keyboard don’t work – does anyone know how to fix that?) Anyway, as part of AYAM, I created an Impact Project called Miracle Tokens, which are small bits of wisdom and inspiration that can be shared online or in person after you download and print them.  They boost the mood of the person who receives them, and give you a lift too, because you have shared a smile or caused someone to stop and consider their life.

My hope is that people start sharing Miracle Tokens and begin a conversation using #MiracleTokens to connect to each other. Tell your story on Twitter, FaceBook or Instagram – whatever works. The important thing is to just keep the conversation going.

Here is where you can help – and it will only take six seconds. Visit my page at http://videomsgr.com/sites/110/index.html, watch the video (OK, this part will take more than 6 seconds) and then go on to the content page by providing your name and email address (don’t worry – I am the only one who will use it, and I NEVER spam). Please leave a comment – that is where you can REALLY help me, because that is what the project manager is looking for – if I was able to attract people to my page.

Then download your very own Miracle Token, start sharing on and offline.  And please come back here and let me know your thoughts.

As Joseph Campbell noted, “Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” (Look – I found my quotation marks!) Please be my door — right now I feel like I am up against a wall that I cannot seem to penetrate.

Blessings!

 

I Learned Something New Today

 

Hamlet with Yorick’s skull (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

“Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.

 

 – Joseph Campbell

 

Do you ever find yourself stuck in your illusions – the stories that you create around events, people or issues that live in your head but not necessarily in reality?

 

I found myself in that place just this afternoon, but instead of reacting the way I normally would, I sought guidance first.  From the inside.  And it worked!  Thrilling me enough to race to the computer to blog and share, in the hopes that you might be inspired to step out of your stories too.

 

I was upset about a family situation and a potential conflict with my brother. I dreaded calling him, but felt that I had to share some pertinent information that would not make him happy.  We had been down this road before, and I anticipated the ugly scene in my head, down to the last snippet of anger and stab of hurt feelings.

 

To shorten what could be a lengthy story, I chose to behave differently this time. I made sure that I was calm and collected before I called him, centered and peaceful in my role. I also asked God to lead me to say the words that would convey the information, but not antagonize or upset him. And finally, I prayed for peace on the family and a viable resolution to the issue.

 

After visualizing the healing I wanted to take place from this conversation and feeling its truth, I made the call.

 

There were a few rough spots, but I was very purposeful in choosing not to react with my usual defensiveness. And guess what?  It worked! We had a great conversation, came up with a reasonable plan and moved on to other topics.

 

My take -away from this brief but significant encounter include the following:

 

• Everyone is invested in their perspective and opinions; Respect that and do not attack or criticize;
• It is so much more productive to change your own perception around an issue than to try to change the other person’s perspective. If you focus your energy on the other person instead of yourself, you will only get frustrated and run into a brick wall, which is not healing for any relationship. To grasp why this is universally true, see take-away #1.
• I gave up the need to be right. Instead, my goal was to find a reasonable solution to a problem that concerned both of us. When he sensed that I was not trying to convince him of my position, he relaxed and also became willing to compromise.
• When I turned the matter over to God and let him lead the way, I did not have to worry about what to say, because it came from my heart.  And God knows my heart better than I do!

 

Try this technique yourself and then let me know how it made a difference.  Change your perspective and change your life!

 

 

Dare to Not Compare

The familiar rush of anger hit me square in the chest. He was doing it again! I turned away quickly, so my face, which was always my mirror to the world, would not give me away.”Another family dinner ruined,” I thought derisively.

My emotions finally under control, I glanced up to see my mother watching me with patient love and acceptance, almost as if she could read my thoughts.  I tried to smile but could not hide the pain that smoldered beneath the surface of my anger.  Why was this so hard?

Sometime later, after the dishes were sent back to the cabinet to rest until needed again, and the kitchen cleaned, scrubbed and tidied for tomorrow, she found me like she always did when I was upset.

“You don’t have to do this to yourself,” she said gently.  I could only stare blankly at my hands, wondering why I was so fortunate to have been born with a twin brother.  As her words sunk into my consciousness, I became sullen, certain as only a 14 year old can, that I would never know my place in the world.

We sat like that, my mother and I, until she decided that I had sulked long enough.  She turned to me, her love light shining brightly in her eyes, and said softly, squeezing my hands for emphasis, “Don’t ever compare yourself to others.”

I nodded but couldn’t stop myself from responding, “I just can’t help it sometimes! We have the same teachers and the same friends, but I can just never do as well as him.”

To her credit, my mother did not lose her calm demeanor, even though laughter was burbling up her throat.  “You should hear yourself,” she managed to say between taking deep breaths.  “You act like everything should be equal just because you were born twins!”

The accusation stung me into silence.  Is that really what I thought? I took a moment to think back over the past few months and it suddenly dawned on me that she was absolutely right.  In a weak attempt to defend myself, I said, “Isn’t that what everyone thinks?”

She shook her head, smiling warmly at me. “No dearie, that is definitely not what everyone thinks.”  She leaned over to kiss me good night, murmured her usual “sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite,” and stood up to leave.  As she reached the door, she paused and patted her pocket.  Her hand found a small slip of paper and she handed it to me, palm up.  I had no choice but to stand up and accept her offering.  “I meant to give you this earlier.”

“Thank you,” I said with a smile.  “You made me feel so much better.”

“I love you,” she said, walking back over to hug me tightly.

After she left, I took the paper and sat on the floor next to my bed. I had a lot to think about and I wanted to write about it in my journal.  I absently set aside the paper and opened my journal, but no words came to me.  I waited but a wall seemed to exist between my usually fluid flow of thoughts and my pen.  After my backside began to go numb, I sighed and moved to sit on my bed.

The note still lay on the floor where I had carelessly tossed it.  Since I was getting nowhere in my journal writing, I leaned over and grabbed it.  It was a single piece of notebook paper, folded in half, with a handwritten note on the outside.

“Open only when you are ready,” it said in my mother’s cursive.

I smiled at her message.  She knew me too well. I would readily dismiss her wisdom if I was still in a snit from dinner. It was only after I calmed down and could review the dinner scene without anger that I would have an open mind to hear her words.

I figured that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.  So I unfolded the note and read its simple message.  Words danced on the page as their impact hit me square in my heart. The paper fluttered to my lap as I accepted her words and changed the course of my life.

Don’t compare.  Comparison is the thief of joy. Enough said.

 

Why are You Here?

Why are you here, on this planet, at this particular time in history, born into your family with its unique personalities, characteristics and perhaps, dysfunctional relationships? What stories have you created to bring meaning to your experiences, your conflicts, your trials and tribulations? Are there areas in your life where you have stopped growing and evolving?

At some point, every person who has ever taken a breath on this planet has asked these or similar questions. It is the quality of your “wondering” questions that define your life. The answers you receive are there, waiting to be discovered, accepted and celebrated.

The journey of self-inquiry can begin at any time. For some, tragedy spurs them to ask the tough questions. For others, a failed marriage or a serious health scare can motivate self-awareness. But for me, it was none of those things. I was simply an unfulfilled product of the Baby Boomer Generation. When I turned 48 years old, I had reached the sign on my path that read, “Is this all there is?”

Not as dramatic as becoming a widow before the age of 30 or surviving cancer and starting a nonprofit foundation to help raise money for research. But there it is…I was basically dissatisfied with myself and unfulfilled by my chosen career.

The seeds of discontentment can reap a bountiful crop. Once I began to look for answers, it almost seemed as if they were right there in front of me. Of course, that is always true…I had only to open my mind to see them.

Remember to start from where you are and allow your curiosity to lead you forward, one step at a time. You will be amazed at what you discover about yourself, your belief and thought patterns and how they have created your life. Once you have that “Aha” moment, you will recognize that if you created your life as it is today, and then maybe you can create a different life. It is the process of creation at its best — and your life is the final product!

Write a Love Letter

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I started thinking about a unique way to say “I love you” to the special people in my life.  Dinner for two, a nice card and a hug are my usual gifts on Valentine’s Day.  These things do not require a lot of time or thought, but it always leaves me feeling slightly deflated, as if I did not do enough.

But what is the answer to the perennial question of “What is enough?”

The florists and department stores would respond by saying, “You must buy this or that to show your love.”  The jewelers are busy this time of year trying to convince you that diamonds really will make her eyes sparkle and that an expensive watch is the absolute guarantee of his approval.

But do the treasures of love really lie out there – in the world? Or are love’s assets hidden, only to be revealed by the people involved?

My answer is the latter. It is only when I share my heart with another that I feel connected. No expensive bauble, delicious dinner or sweet confection will forge that bond that must exist when love is present.  Mine the treasures of the heart and you will hit the real stuff of living.

So I decided to do something different this year.  I will write a love letter to my dear husband and daughter. One that is heartfelt, sincere and hopefully funny. A gentle reminder of the good that we share and the love that covers it all.  One that is filled with stories of our life together, examples of all the little ways I love them and the gratitude I feel for sharing the same space and the same life.

But just to be safe, a trip to the drug store and a reservation at our favorite restaurant wouldn’t be such a bad idea!

 

 

How to network like a B.O.S.S. (pronounced 'bauss')

Reblogged from Hannah Brencher:

“Now, in just a few minutes these doors are going to open and you’ll have the opportunity to put all the things you learned today into action... does everyone have their resumes ready?”

I was standing in the middle of a hotel lobby in Newport, Rhode Island, surrounded by a slew of undergraduates wearing bad khakis and ballet flats and praying for the life of me that I might disappear.

Read more… 2,010 more words

Take a minute to read the attached blog from Hannah Brencher, the instigator behind "More Letters."